She’s Hilarious, Unfiltered, and Wildly Popular on TikTok. Here’s What Style Influencer Carla Rockmore Is Teaching Us about Taking Risks in Midlife and Beyond

In mid-2020, when the world was impossibly grief-ridden and dark, a bolt of light flashed online: Carla Rockmore posted a funny, irreverent video about style. The designer intended to offer a bit of levity and “to do something creative as the time passed rather than watching Netflix,” she tells us. She nailed it. What has ensued in the years since, though, seems almost pre-ordained. Rockmore has amassed well over a million followers on TikTok and hundreds of thousands on Instagram.

It would be easy to guess that Rockmore’s online popularity is due to her sartorial talent and go-for-it approach to wearing color and accessorizing—and for many of her fans, it likely is. But for this writer, Rockmore’s ability to bridge lightness and fun with doses of real-life topics, from aging to self-comparison (which she and her daughter Ivy honestly discuss) to honoring our voice, is the heart of her message that lands. Her posts and our conversation below remind us that we all contain multitudes and that life is best when we feel free to express them. 

A CONVERSATION WITH CARLA ROCKMORE

Carla, what do you hope your fans and followers experience when watching you?

Joy, first and foremost. 

I was slightly selfish in starting this social media experience. It was not for anybody but myself. I didn't have a social media account prior to COVID. I had one for a happy birthday here and there, but I never opened it. And I was terrified. It was a global pandemic; who'd ever heard or thunk that would happen? I was also bored. I'm very creative, tangibly; I think everybody has their own creative vein that they've got. I use my hands to work, and that gave me an escape from the spinning mind. So initially, it was just to do something creative as the time passed rather than watching Netflix. 

It's interesting how somehow, the people I feed with my, I don't know if you want to call it work, entertainment, whatever I do, they feed me and I feed them. There's a reciprocity about it. I get excited when I put something out and then somebody DMs or messages or comments that they're going to pull out their tomato red skirt that they haven't looked at in six years but I've reminded them about, and how they're going to get off their tush and try it out. I hope people get the spark of creativity in their own lives, in their own way. 

And another thing! Put it on social, if you're proud of it, especially if you're a woman of quote-unquote a certain age. The more women who show themselves honestly on social media, the more ammunition we give these kids who are being bullied and being tortured to step out of that and see there's life after 25, and it's pretty good.

It's easy to dream about it, but it's even easier not to post and not to be seen. Watching you step into your pride gives us permission to do the same.

Now, I don't know if I'm actually that courageous. Had it not been for COVID, there is no way that I would have posted. I posted because I was like, What have I got to lose? I have always wanted to be an actress, but I was too frightened of the type of career I would have if I was lucky enough to make a living doing it. It was insecure of a job position for me to go to acting school. I wanted to paycheck. I wanted to be an actor because when I was seven, I was put on the stage in a French play in Quebec, where I was the Pope. I got such applause. After I had my monologue, I was like, this is the best thing since sliced bread! This is what I want to do! But then, as I aged, and unfortunately, fantasy eroded with real-life reality, I decided to go into clothing design because it was creative, and I adored fashion. And I knew I was going to get a paycheck. But it's all so serendipitous to me how somehow the stars aligned. My experience and history as a clothing designer, my love to emote and connect, and the captive audience of COVID it was a perfect storm. 

What does real style mean to you? Is style innate or something we cultivate? 

It's a bit of both. Style can absolutely be cultivated. One should have permission to buy the same pair of pants over and over again, times 10 If it makes them feel good. If you can listen to your gut, you will naturally cultivate your style. It may not be Vogue level, but you will start building a wardrobe you lean into with comfort rather than stress and anxiety. And you'll know if you're building that if you actually think, Yeah, this feels right. This sits well in my skin. 

When it comes to how we dress, do you see people holding themselves back?

Yes, unfortunately. There's psychology in that, though. It depends if somebody put you down when you were a kid once and made fun of your red shoes; you might never wear the red shoes again. I purposefully try to do the little bits that I do with a very big smile on my face and a slightly goofy nature because I don't want it to be so perfect or serious. Because then, they might take a chance. 

My friend in LA is a stylist, and he called me yesterday. And he says, You'll never believe I have a new client, and your name came up. [My client] said, 'Can you please tell her that since I've been watching her, I've been having way more fun with my own wardrobe?' And I said, fantastic! 

I'm very blessed to have this platform. And what's super exciting is that I feel like I'm only connecting with myself more as I age. And therefore, I'm going to do a better job connecting with people as I age.

It's easy to think, Am I too late? Am I too old? What do you credit for your continued self-discovery?

I'm very lucky that my mother is a big proponent of doing something for yourself and figuring out what makes you happy. She may have been on the extreme end of the spectrum. She's this fantastic artist. We maybe ate Kraft mac and cheese three times a night because she was too busy painting. But she taught me early on how important it is to cultivate something for yourself. So, I was already on that path. Then [my] kids were starting to move on. And I was actively looking for something to do that was not what I had always done. I was given the gift of age, and therefore, a pivot seemed easier in my mid-fifties than maybe in my mid-thirties when I was crazy busy with babies and my career. All of a sudden, I had this space where I had cultivated a career for a long time, but it wasn't feeding me in the same way that it used to, in totality. 

As we age, we need to assess. Where have I gone? Where am I going next? Because if you don't do that, you'll live the same way until your life is over. And we only have one, and we're not getting any younger. And do we want to live this life for the next 20, 30, 40 years, God-willing? What's the worst that can happen? You make a mistake. You learn. Mistakes can be the best thing in the world. So, there is prep, and there is work. It's not going to fall from the sky. I can't stand it when I see somebody make a vision board with the Ferrari and the Gucci purse all sitting there, and they're staring at it but not starting to take the microscope to just get that first job… and work at it and work at that craft tirelessly and regularly until it slowly builds. Mood boards are like compound interest. Just put a little bit in every day, and it will pay off. 

There's so much noise out there. How do you live above the noise?

I make sure to focus on something that's just for me. That brings me joy. That I can manifest without spending any money, without leaving my house, without making this huge mess that I'm going to have to clean up afterwards. I do something that brings me joy every single day. 

And I try to compliment somebody every day. 

Carla Rockmore is a fashion and jewelry designer, pro-aging influencer, and mother. You can follow her on Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube.