Comparison Can Rob Us of the Emotions that Make Us Human, But It Shouldn't. Life and Mind Coach Angie Johnsey Mullins Gives You Permission to Feel Your Feelings the Right Way
We look around at the tragedy and devastation going on in countries such as Ukraine, and here in the United States, and realize how very fortunate we are to have our safety, our families, our health. As a mind coach, I often hear statements such as, “I have so many beautiful things in my life. So many blessings and I am so grateful for all of them. So who am I to feel bad about anything?”
Statements such as these signify to me that the person feels unjustified to feel the emotions they feel. They feel as though they don’t have permission to feel sadness or unhappiness around areas of their lives that may not be as fulfilling or as healthy as they could be, because in comparison, their issue seems minute. However, we all live with a mind, or a voice in our head that is our constant roommate. The problems our minds create don’t have to be on a massive world level to create personal pain and suffering. It’s not an outer war, but an inner war. War is war. All war, or resistance, will result in pain and suffering.
ENDING THE WAR.
How do we begin to settle the inner conflict and end the personal emotional pain? Here are 3 steps towards personal peace and acceptance.
1. Give yourself permission to be human. Emotions are neither bad nor good. An emotion is simply energy that flows through your body. Some of this energy is unpleasant when it flows through. This is usually an indicator that your roommate, “the mind,” is in fear and telling you lies that you are believing. It’s ok. We all do it. It doesn’t make you a negative person. It makes you a human attached to a fearful mind. Say to yourself, “I give myself permission to feel whatever is coming up in me right now. I fully accept this situation and its resulting emotion. I may not like it, but I fully accept it.”
2. Don’t fear it, feel it. If you resist it, fight it, or deny it, you are feeding the fear and creating an inner war. Admit to yourself that you feel sad, or you feel angry, or you feel hate. That emotion is in there with you and it’s ok. Fully accept whatever you are feeling because of what your mind is saying without fear of being labeled negative, ungrateful, or childish. No matter how conscious, evolved, or spiritual aware we become, the mind can always experience fear and lure us into that fear with it so we can look at it once last time and release it.
3. Realize an emotional state or reaction never defines you. Much of the resistance that feeds the inner war comes from the fear that we will be defined by a recurrent emotional state. We fight with emotions because we are trying to paint a portrait or believe in some identity that never experiences instability or negative emotion. We fear the negative labels that may come from society if every area of our lives aren’t picture-perfect, or if we don’t have everything that ticks all the boxes of a “happy life.”
We are not here to impress society or other minds. We are here to end the war within and without, starting within. We are here to come into a state of acceptance, full acceptance of the mentally perceived light and the dark around us all. We are here to realize that there are times when we all walk through the light and dark, but neither define us. We stand between the two, whole and complete, watching it all unfold and feeling the emotions created by the mind as it interprets whatever is happening as good or bad. Acceptable or Unacceptable.
If you are experiencing emotional pain, you are at war or in resistance to something. The cure is always to allow yourself to drop into full acceptance. This is how it is right now. This is what has happened. This is where I am. This is what I’m feeling. This does not define me. This does not add anything to me. This does not take anything away from me.
Your mind doesn’t have to like it…but you can begin to settle in and accept it. Acceptance ends suffering.
If you found this article helpful, join me for more coaching on my YouTube Channel, Tidy Mind.(https://www.youtube.com/c/AngieJohnseyMindCoach) or Instagram@angie.johnsey
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