Why We Must Keep an Open Mind Toward International Men's Day
November 19th is International Men’s Day. I know, I know. This day can seem like a bit of a joke or catering to a narrow slice of the population. But the contributions that boys and men make to our families and communities are huge, and the challenges they face are real.
Taking a day to focus on boys and men, just as we do for women and girls, is something everyone can—or should—embrace. If we can have an International Day of the Snow Leopard (October 23rd), surely we can manage one for our boys and men .
There has long been resistance to the idea of celebrating International Men’s Day. It still too often provokes an eyeroll. When the UK Parliament held its first debate to mark the day in 2015, attendance was almost nonexistent and the media widely derided it, even in conservative-leaning outlets. Opponents likened the idea of a day for men to a “white history month”.
What a difference a few years can make. International Men’s Day now features a substantive debate in the House of Parliament, as well as policy advocacy. This year, the first-ever men’s health strategy for England is expected to be released on that day. Politicians in other nations, too, including Australia, also use the day to highlight the contributions and challenges of boys and men.
Companies in nations like Australia, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Norway hold events to celebrate their male workers and draw attention to men’s health and the need to support their working fathers.
Political leaders in the U.S. are now starting to act explicitly on behalf of boys and men. Witness California Governor Gavin Newsom’s sweeping Executive Order on the issue, or the initiatives from Wes Moore in Maryland, Spencer Cox in Utah, and Gretchen Whitmer in Michigan. And in Virginia, an advisory committee on boys and men is being created.
The growing public recognition of boys and men is enormously welcome. A chorus of politicians and influencers, including NYU Professor Scott Galloway with his new book, Notes on Being a Man, is now rejecting the idea of a zero-sum trade-off between caring about women and girls and caring about boys and men. We can do both.
As philanthropist Melinda French Gates told Gayle King on CBS News: “It’s not even enough to have a conversation about women’s rights in our country. We have to make sure that men and boys do well… If you have good men and boys in society, they are great partners for women; they help pull women along in good ways.” (Note that through her fund Pivotal Ventures, French Gates supports my work).
Similarly, when a parliamentarian raised the issue of violence against women during the UK’s annual debate, Yasmin Qureshi, then shadow Women and Equalities Minister, gave a brilliant answer: “At every level, we should all be tackling violence against men and women. We must not consider gender equality to be a zero-sum game or a trade-off. Let me be clear: we can address women’s safety as well as serious issues and concerns for men. Indeed, we must do both.”
I hope the U.S. Congress, States, and municipalities will decide to mark International Men’s Days. Ditto international organizations. As the U.N. states: “International days and weeks are occasions to educate the public on issues of concern, to mobilize political will and resources to address global problems, and to celebrate and reinforce achievements of humanity.” It is unfortunate, then, that the United Nations marks November 19th only as World Toilet Day.
We can’t create a world of flourishing women when men are floundering, or vice versa. We rise, or fall, together. Right now, too many of our boys and men are falling.
The U.S. loses 40,000 boys and men every year to deaths from suicide, four times the rate among women. Since 2010, the suicide rate among young men has risen by almost a third. The United States loses about five times as many construction workers to suicide as to workplace deaths on construction sites.
One in ten men aged 20 to 24 is neither in work nor in education. Male college enrolment rates are declining sharply; meanwhile wages for men without a college degree have been stagnant for almost half a century.
Boys and men are vital contributors to a healthy, prosperous society. Dads are doing more parenting than ever, and matter to their kids as much as ever. The most dangerous jobs in the workplace are overwhelmingly done by men. Male teachers, coaches, and mentors serve as precious, positive role models for our sons and daughters.
In the spirit of “doing both”, leaders in every walk of life should use this week’s International Men’s Day to lift up the boys and men in our communities. Hold events to celebrate the men in your organization; drop a note to the men in your life; urge your elected officials to mark the day; donate to men’s health organizations like Movember.
In the true spirit of inclusion, acknowledging boys and men is not an abdication of the principle of gender equality. It is the application of it.
For more resources on International Men’s Day, see aibm.org. For mental health support, including suicidal thoughts, click here.
Richard V. Reeves is the founding president of the American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM), which he launched in 2023 to address the challenges facing boys and men through evidence-based research.
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