Peace Begins With You

Good morning, my friends. As some of you may already know, the world is waking up this Sunday morning to news that the United States has bombed multiple nuclear sites in Iran. The first time the U.S. has ever directed a military strike inside that country.

Shortly after President Trump announced the news on social media, he made a brief statement from the White House, calling the strikes a complete success. He also warned that further strikes could come if Iran does not agree to peace.

“Our objective was the destruction of Iran’s nuclear enrichment capacity and a stop to the nuclear threat posed by the world’s No. 1 state sponsor of terror,” he said.

There is no doubt that this is a somber, serious moment. It’s hard to imagine that there will not be some response which of course leaves everyone, the world over, in a vulnerable, terrified, fragile position.

It made me think about an event this past week where former President Barack Obama said something that struck me, seeming to foreshadow this moment.

He was speaking to Heather Cox Richardson, the esteemed historian, professor, writer, and loyal friend of The Sunday Paper, about the state of our country and the world. He said, “What’s happening is that we now have a situation in which all of us are going to be tested in some way, and we are going to have to then decide what our commitments are.”

He wasn’t simply speaking to liberals—who, he said, had been “comfortable in their righteousness” during his presidency. He was speaking instead to anyone and everyone who believes in the rule of law, who believes in facts, and who believes in the value of democracy.

I thought about his words and his warning for days and wondered: Will they land anywhere? Will they have any impact? Will they make people stop, redirect, or change course?

Or, I wondered, are people becoming numb to such warnings? Are people so distracted by all the news that they can barely manage to think of anything else?

I find people are either deeply engaged in the news these days and stay totally tuned in, or they are totally tuned out. In fact, before I went to a dinner this week, one of my friends sent a note to everyone that said: “Please no politics at the dinner table. I really want to have a nice and calm evening, so I’m asking everyone to refrain from talking about politics, the news, or anything having to do with Israel and/or Iran. Please respect my wishes.”

I wrote back, “Of course, no worries,” with an xo.

It was the only time this past week that was like that. Every other meal I shared at my dinner table went like this:

“I’m scared. Are you scared?”

“What do you think is going to happen with Iran and Israel?”

“Do you think the president is going to get us involved?”

Another: “Of course he has to.”

Another: “No, he doesn’t—that would be World War 3.”

Another: “Trump says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Is that possible?”

“Oh, and is the National Guard still in L.A.?”

“Do you think Gavin Newsom did himself any favors with how he responded?”

“Does anyone really know what’s going on? Who should I be listening to these days? Can you help me?”

All of that led me to take a deep breath. It led me to try and think deeply about how I want to be in this moment. It led me to think about what my commitments are and what is worth standing up for. It also led me to ask those I shared my meals with this week an interesting question: “What living person would you like to go to dinner with these days? If you could go to dinner with anyone, who would be on your top 5 list?”

I was curious because I wanted to get a sense of who people of different ages and genders actually listen to—who was on their radar.

I was relieved that Obama came up, but so did Trump (only one person at the table said they wouldn’t go to dinner with the president). Jeff Bezos came up, as did Mark Zuckerberg. Putin also came up, as did J.D. Vance and many world leaders. In fact, it was mainly world leaders that people wanted to talk to and ask: “What are you thinking? What’s your long-term plan and goal for the world? For our generation?”

Dave Chappelle came up, as did Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Bryce Harper, Tiger Woods, and several other athletes. I listened as so many young people debated back and forth who was worth listening to, whose voice was breaking through, and who has the mic at this moment.

Of course, this is only a sample from a few different dinners in a few short days. But it turned out to actually be an interesting game to play—and a sneaky way to still talk about the news when people ask you not to talk about the news and/or politics!

Doing this exercise taught me quite a bit. It was also interesting to me that no women were initially mentioned at any table I sat at. When I brought up this omission, everyone looked around, expressed surprise, and then said, “OK, wait, I’d like to talk to Blaise Metreweli” (who I didn’t know, by the way). Another suggested the prime minister of Italy, Nancy Pelosi, and Caitlin Clark. (This is a whole different column for another time.)

All in all, this exercise really made me wonder: Whose voice can actually rise above at this precarious moment? Who has your ear at this time? Who would you like to sit with, listen to, talk to? Who are you following? (For what it’s worth, my first pick for dinner was the Pope.)

Did you listen to Tucker Carlson and others this week caution the president about the ramifications of entering the Iran-Israeli war? Or are you more tuned into the race for mayor in NYC? Or did the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup fill you up? Are you one of those totally tuned in, or totally tuned out?

Whichever one you are, I get it. I so get it. Maybe, like me, you are trying to find that balance between being informed and staying above all of the noise. Maybe, like me, you are trying to tune out the noise, stay focused on what you think is worth focusing on, and do what you can to keep yourself, your family, and friends at the same table.

If you are like me, that might be all you can handle at this precarious time. And if so, that is more than fine. It really is. This is a moment to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That’s why I wanted to have dinner with the Pope!

So today, my friends—because that’s who you are—you are my community. You gather here with me at my table of sorts, in my digital home every week, and for that I’m grateful. Truly, I am.

I’m going to leave you today with some words I think are worth reading. They are not mine, but they landed in my heart. They come from very different places, but they both speak to the moment.

First are the words of Earl Warren, the famous Supreme Court Chief Justice (none of the young people I had dinner with this week had heard of him). My friend Bobby, who came to one dinner, had been in a bookstore when he spotted the original eulogy Justice Warren gave when my uncle, President Kennedy, was assassinated. Justice Warren’s children had decided to sell it. And yes, Bobby bought it for me and gave it to me before dinner.

Tears filled my eyes as I read through his words. He described the moment as perplexing, stunning, and sad. He described my uncle as a fighter for justice, a believer in the dignity and equality of all human beings, and an apostle of peace. He went on to deplore the price of fanaticism.

He continued: “If we really love this country, if we truly love justice and mercy, if we reverently want to make this nation better for those who follow us, then we can at least admonish the hatred that consumes people, the false accusations that divide us, and the bitterness that begets violence.”

And now, the words of the children of Democratic lawmaker Melissa Hortman and her husband Mark. I’m sure you remember them—they were brutally assassinated just a week ago. I know the news has moved on since then, which in and of itself is remarkable, but these young adults will no doubt struggle for the rest of their lives to move on and move forward. Their words to us give us a glimpse of how they are going to attempt to move forward, and how we might do so as well.

They thanked everyone for their love and support. They spoke of their heartbreak, and then asked us all, in memory of their parents, to consider planting a tree. Or petting a dog. Or baking something for someone else.

Most of all, they asked us to stand up for truth and justice. In their grief, they asked us not to be afraid. They reminded us that hope and resilience are the antidote to fear and that so is doing something, big or small, to make our world better.

That’s right. Do something. Invite someone to share a meal. Take a walk. Go to the park. Foster a dog. Buy someone a coffee—or, in my case, an egg bite. Denounce fanaticism and hatred.

Maybe the best thing we can each do when the news is so confusing and conversations are so heated is to take one small action on behalf of another. Perhaps the most radical act right now just might be keeping people at the same table.

Remember: what you think might be small just might be the gesture that changes a life. Believe this to be true, because trust me, it is.

Also in this week’s issue:

• Want to Find More Hope and Meaning Right Now?

• How Can We Come Together in These Scary Times?

• “We Are All Wired for Strength”