To Find More Joy and Happiness, Make “Big Talk”
Visit the Big Talk account, and you’ll meet hundreds of people near and far, sharing their joys, hopes, pain, and humanity.
- You’ll meet 97-year-old Ms. Dorothy, who tells about rebuilding after the LA fires.
- You’ll hear from Mark, who shares about the darkest time of his life.
- You’ll see Billie Eilish, Keith Urban, and Lorde (yep!) talking about personal strength, beauty, and aliveness.
- You'll see Sunday Paper friend Colin Campbell talk beautifully about his kids, Ruby and Hart, who died in an accident.
In this Big Talk setting, these people have two things in common: they are vulnerably human and sharing their stories with Kalina Silverman.
Eleven years ago, Silverman started Big Talk as an experiment. She wanted “to go out, meet new people, and instead of just making small talk, have deeper meaningful conversations with them,” as she says. She started by simply approaching strangers, asking them about their lives, yearnings, and fears. People poured their hearts into Silverman. They cried. They laughed. They opened their souls.
The result turned into a global movement that is the antidote to the loneliness so many of us face.
Now, more than a decade and countless conversations later, Silverman has evolved her movement into a book of the same name. Each page offers insights and stories pulled from the ethos of the Big Talk movement, offering ways to deepen connections, start meaningful conversations, and foster trust.
It’s a beautiful new book anchored in the empathy we all need more of. And as Silverman shared with us, the movement is only just getting started: “Even 10 years later, it feels like I'm still at the beginning.”
A CONVERSATION WITH KALINA SILVERMAN
Your book is just out in the world! Considering all that you’ve built with Big Talk and all the conversations you’ve had across the globe, what are you feeling at this very moment?
When working on a grassroots global movement, it always feels like you're just at the beginning, because there are always more people to help and inspire. And I really take it day by day with each person that writes to me, wherever they are in the world, about how Big Talk has helped them, and that's what keeps me going. I focus on each individual at a time, whether it's someone I'm interviewing for Big Talk, or it's someone I'm connecting with when I'm giving a talk or a workshop, or someone who's seen a video and who reaches out to me and tells me this video “saved my life.” Or it might be someone in prison who wrote to me and said, “Seeing your videos and reading your questions helped me.” So, I'm feeling very motivated. Even 10 years later, it feels like I'm still at the beginning.
Your efforts show us how just one small tangible move, even simply saying hello to a stranger, can be the antidote to the loneliness all around us. In the time you’ve been doing this, what are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen in yourself and in people?
Absolutely, I see it everywhere. I see it in myself. Even yesterday, my handyman came over, and he's really quiet, and we normally never chat because I think he always wants to keep to himself. But he saw my book on the table and asked me about it. So I told him, and he said, "Oh, I write poetry." And I was so shocked that he was a poet! That was just one example of how Big Talk can change your preconceived notions about someone and open doors to connection. We ended up hanging out for a bit, and he showed me videos of himself reciting poetry. So examples like that show how Big Talk can really create meaningful connections in everyday life moments. Something as simple as someone coming over to fix your screen door can turn into a beautiful moment of connection.
I still get lonely, sometimes. I think it's human nature to have moments when you crave connection, just as you do when you are hungry or need water. It's like an alert to your body to go out to connect with someone. And so I'll go out on walks all the time and just try to smile at someone and maybe start a conversation. And so I've seen Big Talk ease my own loneliness, and I've heard from thousands of people worldwide who've reached out to me how it's helped them.
For the person who wants to connect but may feel shy or even put off by practice, what is one piece of advice that may help them shift toward having a Big Talk with someone?
If you smile at a stranger, you are giving positive energy to the world, and that can lead to a meaningful conversation. So just even a smile, that's the smallest gesture, right? You don't even have to start a conversation. That's the first step: eye contact and a smile. And then, after that, if you're scared about starting a conversation, you can actually acknowledge the randomness by literally saying, “Hey, this might be random, but can I ask you a question?” Or, “Hey, this might be out of the blue, but I wanted to ask you...” and even saying something like that can take the pressure off.
Yes! And on the receiving end, I would feel so relieved and at ease to hear someone say that.
Totally! When you're vulnerable towards someone, it's so much easier for them to be vulnerable back, like you're opening a door, throwing them a ball, and they can catch it and throw it back because they know that you're willing to engage.
Now that you have a book out, which is an extension of all your beautiful videos, what do you hope people take away from your pages?
If my book makes one person feel less alone, or gives one person the tools or the confidence or inspiration to go out and talk to a stranger or connect with their family member over the dinner table, or their co worker who they've known for years but have never had a deep conversation with, then I'll have done a good job in getting across the vision and of hope for humanity and Big Talk.
Kalina Silverman is a documentary journalist, entrepreneur, speaker, and creator of the award-winning media project Big Talk. Learn more here, and be sure to read Silverman’s last conversation with Sunday Paper editor Lauren Westphal here!
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