Count Your Blessings
Today is my sister-in-law Jeanne’s birthday.
Yesterday was my wonderful friend Martha Beck’s birthday. And last week I said happy happy to my other sister-in-law Malissa, my friend Cydney, and my cousin Caroline (who shared her birthday with the Thanksgiving holiday).
Now why am I mentioning these people’s birthdays? Well, for a few reasons. One, because I love them all. Two, because I’m amused that so many people I love have birthdays so close to one another. And three, because I’m so grateful for all of them and for the love they’ve shown and continue to show me. (And while I’m celebrating these November birthdays, I also want to take a moment to send love to a few of my favorite people with December birthdays: my friend Nadine, my mentor Roberta, and my daughter Katherine!)
The gift of aging is priceless, and I’m grateful that so many of my favorite people are getting another turn around the sun (something not everyone we love gets to do). I also believe it’s always worth celebrating family and friends who show you their love. That’s my favorite part of Thanksgiving: going around the table and telling others how much I love them and how grateful I am for them. I’m grateful for all of you as well. I really am.
To that end, I want to thank those of you who sent an outpouring of love after my cousin Caroline’s daughter, Tatiana, shared her battle with her blood last week. Everywhere I went, people stopped me. Many of you also filled my inbox with medical suggestions and notes of concern. Over and over, people said to me, “What can I do to help your cousin?”
I’ve thought a lot about what someone can do to support a person fighting for their life—whether they’re young, my age, or older. Every family has different needs when they’re looking for a miracle. That’s why it’s always helpful to ask what someone may need, because you may just be able to provide it.
But what really struck me about Tatiana’s beautifully written article was how deeply she loves her life—her husband, her children, her parents, her siblings, her family, and her friends. I was also struck by how fiercely she wants to keep living. My brother Timothy told me that when his kids asked how they could help, he said: “Live, live, live.” I loved that.
Getting to live life is something many of us take for granted. We complain about our upcoming birthdays, about getting older, and about this and that all the time.
I grew up in a house where complaining wasn’t allowed. My mother wasn’t into it at all. In fact, she had a now-famous saying that she would repeat whenever I started to bemoan something: “I don’t want to hear one yip out of you.” She would also ask, “Do you know how lucky you are?” Then she’d go through whatever the news of the moment was—starving kids in Biafra, the Sudan, or in Appalachia—to remind me that others were suffering, that I was indeed lucky to be alive, and that I should “get onto myself.”
So on this Sunday after Thanksgiving, my hope for you and for all of us is simple: live. Live out loud. Live with joy. Live with gratitude. Remember how lucky you are to be alive. No matter your age, I hope you feel grateful to be that age, because not everyone gets the chance. I thought about that again this weekend as I read about the young National Guard woman who lost her life in D.C. Wow.
So maybe give yourself some grace and some love today. Take a minute to remember how lucky you are. We’re just a day from December, the final month before another new year. How lucky are we to wake up each morning, to love and be loved, and to keep growing through whatever life hands us?
And while you’re counting your blessings, I hope you’ll also tell the people in your life that you love them. Seriously. Do it now. Take every chance you get.
As we head into the holidays, never forget what a gift it is to have them and hold them in this moment. So live, live, live. Live for yourself and for all those who don’t get to as well.
P.S. I’d love if you’d watch my conversation below with Naomi Watts and Alisa Volkman. We sat down together recently in NYC to talk about the gift of our health, the gift of our lives, and the power we each have to tell our own story. After all, there’s nobody better to tell our story than ourselves.
Prayer of the Week
Dear God,
As we move through this season, help us remember just how lucky we are to be alive. Help us also remember how lucky we are to love and be loved by those who matter to us most.
Amen.
Also in this week’s issue:
• Kate Bowler on Faith, Fragility, and the Surprising Gift of Fear
