A Happy House, Not a Perfect One: This 77-Year-Old Social Media Sensation is Redefining “Home”
For Barbara Costello, most famously known as “Babs” on social media– as in “Brunch with Babs” walking into a home doesn’t mean every pillow in place with a perfect divot, and planning weekends around cleaning and chores.
The 77-year-old became a social media star during the COVID shutdown, posting her recipes and household tips on TikTok with her youngest daughter—her account blew up after her tip for cleaning out a pumpkin went viral. As a pre-school teacher and director for 25 years, she says that she’s found what works for little kids, works for big kids too, particularly when it comes to chores and organizing. Breaking big tasks into “little bite-sized chunks,” became the basis for her 15-minute approach to tackling the sometimes overwhelming amount of work that goes into keeping a home.
In her new book “Homemaking with Babs,” she includes tips on everything from keeping cool in summer months to seasonal simmer pots to create a mood. Her emphasis is not on keeping a perfect house, but believing that your home should work for those who live in it. Costello, who hates cleaning the bathroom, says she sees homemaking as a way to create a peaceful environment and, ultimately, more time to enjoy life together.
From her home in Connecticut—a former home of a local basketweaver—Costello talked about the challenges of social media perfection, creating a place for everything, and that even small children should feel like they are helping keep the family home.
A CONVERSATION WITH BARBARA "BABS" COSTELLO
What makes a house feel like a home?
I think what makes a house feel like a home is different for everybody. But truly, I don't think the perfect home that people envision, like on the internet, or in House Beautiful, is what you should be striving for. If you strive for that, you're always going to fall short.
Your perfect home has to work for you, and it has to work for the people who live there. And it's more important, I think, to have a happy home than a perfect home.
What are some of the things that can make a house feel welcoming?
I bring the scent of the season into the home. We have a simmer pot for all four seasons. In fall, we've got apples and cinnamon and apple cider just simmering on the stove. Someone walks into your home and they're immediately kind of enveloped in the scent of the season.
It’s also about having places for everything. If your home feels cluttered, it feels overwhelming. If you have a place for everything and everything in its place, when you come home, you can relax. You can put your feet up. You can grab a book or a magazine or turn the TV on, and you're not looking at a disheveled mess.
Everyone in the home should take part in making a house a home. Everyone—even young kids. If you have skin in the game, you’re more likely to have a peaceful, less-stressful home.
Why do you think homemaking has become so complicated?
I think that it got to be like this was kind of downplayed, like it's not that important. Everything's happening outside the home. But then we realized during the shutdown, your home is pretty important. This is where life takes place, and this is where you live with the most important people in the world to you.
There's a lot of wonderful feedback that you get by having things organized and not spending your whole life doing it. Coming home should lift everyone's spirits. It's where life happens, and you want happy memories.
Do you think the pursuit of perfection has made people give up on homemaking altogether?
I think the pendulum has swung. There was kind of this idea that everything had to be perfect, and people knew they would never hit that bar.
Your perfect home has to work for you, and it has to work for the people who live there. And it's more important to have a happy home than a perfect home.
Your 15-minute method seems designed to take some of that pressure away. How did you come up with it?
I was a preschool teacher for like almost 25 years. When you're working with children, everything is presented in little bite-sized chunks. And so, I thought, well, why wouldn't I do that to my life?
Especially cleaning—that could take over. You work all week, whether it's in or outside the home, and then you've got this one day that you're devoting to working again inside the home. So you're exhausted, and then you start your regular week.
When I was home with four children and running a business, I'd have this neverending to-do list. I started this three-by-five index card system where I had cards that I would do every day, every week, every month. But they were so detailed that it kind of took over, and I was feeling overwhelmed.
So I think I came up with the 15-minute system because everybody has 15 minutes to spare. If you've felt totally overwhelmed that your house is out of control, or that you don't want this to take over your life, then you start with little chunks and you do this little routine.
What does that routine look like?
In the morning, make your bed. There's even been studies—entering a room with a made bed, it just, you know, is uplifting. It's peaceful. It helps your psyche.
You've already loaded your dishwasher in the evening, you've turned it on, so in the morning you've got clean dishes in the dishwasher. You empty the dishwasher so that your sink is not being the place where all your dirty dishes land during the day.
The night before, you've delayed-started your washing machine. You put a load in before you go to bed. I did mine last night. I did a load, and I delayed-started it for eight hours. I went to bed at 10, so at 6 a.m. my laundry was going. And when I get up at 7 a.m., I throw it in the dryer.
And why is consistency so important?
It's 100 percent about consistency. When people feel overwhelmed with running a home, it's because they want to change, do a 180-degree thing: “Oh no, I am going to barely be on top. I'm going to do everything all the time.”
I think if you take it in small chunks, you're more likely to be consistent. And once that consistency is established, it's going to make a world of difference in your life.
How early can you start getting children involved?
I think you could even do it earlier if it's just a throw—you're just pulling your blanket up. It doesn't have to be perfect, but you have to give them a sense of ownership and responsibility.
We had a chore chart, and you can use a chore chart for your kids. You don't want to have your eight-year-old ironing, but you might have your teen teach him how to iron.
Just set out some chores. Get dressed, brush your teeth, make your bed. If you have them in a place where the whole family is, they can have little reminders and pull that off once they do that chore. Don't give them too many to start with. Just a few, and then you can build on that.
Is there a homemaking task that even you hate doing?
I always say I don't like cleaning the bathroom. Yeah, I really don't like cleaning the bathroom.
Does Mr. Babs get to do it?
Sometimes. We do work together. Now I've been kind of busy, so he's been doing more than he usually does, and he's retired. So he's doing more than he did in the past, including sometimes making dinner.
Last night we were having steaks on the grill, but when I got home, he realized there was no propane in the tank, so he was broiling steaks. I cannot imagine why that smoke alarm didn't go off because that oven was full of smoke. But anyway, no, he's great and he's very helpful.
What should someone do if they're overwhelmed by clutter?
I have a five-bin system. If you're going to tackle your closet, say you have a bin for trash—something that's ruined and you're throwing away. You have a bin for donate, recycle, resell and relocate.
Sometimes people don't even tackle a closet or a space because it's so overwhelming they won't know where to start. But if you use the five-bin system, and as you're looking at each item, you have a place to put it.
The trash should be taken out immediately. Don't let it sit in the bedroom or wherever you're decluttering. If you're going to donate it, immediately it goes in your car. Things have a home, a new home, immediately.
What do you hope people remember after reading the book—not just about keeping a house, but about building a beautiful life inside it?
I would hope that they redirect some of that energy to just enjoying that home, enjoying that life. Now that you have some extra time, maybe you have a game night, or you light the fire, and I don't know, it's holiday time. You're singing Christmas carols in the family room.
You're using that home not to clean, not because it's become like an anchor around your neck, but your house is functioning now, and now you have time to make it a home for the people who live there.
Barbara “Babs” Costello is a former educator who now lives in Connecticut with her husband “Mr. Babs.” She has written two cookbooks, “Celebrate with Babs,” and “Brunch with Babs,” as well as a children’s book, “Did Your Mother Ever Tell You?” Her latest book “Homemaking with Babs” can be found in bookstores now.
Please note that we may receive affiliate commissions from the sales of linked products.
