Think You Can’t Make That Giant Pivot? Think Again—Here Are 5 Tips To Help You Take the Leap
There are more women over 50 on the planet right now than at any other time in history. The energy of that is palpable. It feels like a tipping point.
When it comes to these women—and we count ourselves among them—one thing holds true regardless of personality, ambition, or goals:
We care about what happens.
We care about the impact we make.
And we sure as hell are not done.
In a 2017 interview Joseph F. Coughlin, director of the AgeLab at M.I.T. predicted that older women will rule the world. That same year, Hilary Clinton energized supporters with "the future is female!" as her battle cry.
We heard this. We felt it. And we already knew it. So why is it so damn hard for us to step into it? Believe it or not, it's your physiology.
By the time you've entered your fifth decade, you have taken in hundreds of thousands of hours of messaging about what's expected of you (and what isn't), what you should and shouldn't do, and what it means to be a "good girl." Anything repeated that many times becomes a part of your hardwiring. Leaning into something that feels bigger or contrary to what that messaging allows sets off your mind's protective system. You probably know it as your negative voice or inner critic.
Your negative voice is not impacted by logic. That little bugger is driven by old fears and narratives designed to keep you "safe" from venturing into "dangerous" territory.
The good news is there are proven ways to hack your inner autopilot that will work no matter what you desire, whether that’s making a huge life pivot, running for office, leaving a relationship, changing jobs, growing your impact as a leader, or any other meaningful, exciting, huge change.
So if you’re looking to take the leap and make that pivot, know that you can.
Here are five tips for getting started:
#1: Own your worth.
This is not an easy task, especially with that negative voice whispering in your ear, but there's no room for "I'm not enough" when you're leaning into something big or new. Somewhere along the decades, you learned that your value is contingent on certain outcomes. It's not. Whatever you've achieved (or haven't) has no bearing on your actual worth. You're value is intrinsic. Period.
Side note: We all have skills and strengths that as women we tend to overlook, take for granted and underplay. Don't.
#2: Let go of what you think you know for sure.
Learning from experience is often useful—but there is, at times, a problem with it. Most of your life experiences are far more complex than a particular action leading to an absolute outcome. In most of our experiences, any tiny shift in action or circumstance may have produced a completely different result.
In these cases, learning from experience is actually holding you back! Your past does not have to dictate your future. When you find yourself using evidence of the past to undermine your efforts to move forward, ask yourself the question, What other than my past experience may also be possible?
#3: Create goals that are in alignment with how you want to experience your life.
It's critical to ensure that the filters you choose to make decisions about what's next for you align with where you're heading rather than where you've been.
We call this a Compass Point™. Answer the question: How do I want to feel about myself and about my life on my very last day? As you're setting your goals and making choices about what's next, ask yourself does this bring me closer to or further from my Compass Point? The answer will never lead you astray.
#4: Detach from specific outcomes.
Once you know that your goals are in alignment with your Compass Point and you start working toward them, it's easy to get overly attached to one particular result. When this happens, you've inadvertently narrowed your lens.Try seeing each goal you set merely as one possible path to living your Compass Point. By doing this, two things become possible:
- Your eyes will be open to opportunities you otherwise would not likely have seen, and
- If the goal you're working toward falls apart, you don't have to go all the way back to square one. Instead you can pick up from exactly where you are by asking "what's one thing I can do in this moment that will bring me closer to my Compass Point?"
#5: Take small action every day.
Whether it's not knowing where to start or having too much on your plate, one of the biggest stumbling blocks to change is feeling overwhelmed. To work through this we suggest getting out of your head and into action, even if you don't feel fully ready. Small, consistent action everyday creates momentum that builds exponentially over time.
An added benefit... Once you're in action, your identity shifts. You go from being the person who WANTS to do X to the person who IS. You can use your Compass to guide you.
"What's the one thing I can do right now that will move me to the next step?" We call this pushing the pebble forward, and wherever you're standing right now, you can start today.
Remember success is never a straight line. No matter how many ups, downs and pivots you experience, each one is no more than a data point to move you forward. No matter what others say, failure is only failure if you give up on yourself.
Wendy and Dana will be hosting Leaning In and Making An Impact - A Transformative Workshop live for our Sunday Paper Plus members. Sign up for Sunday Paper Plus to gain access.
Wendy Perrotti and Dana Hilmer are the Co-Creators of Camp Reinvention™ and master-level coaches who have helped thousands of women successfully reinvent their lives. Learn more at https://www.campreinvention.com/
Question from the editor: What is one small action you can start to take today to work toward you next big leap?
