The Most Important Lessons My Mother Ever Taught Me
This Mother’s Day, we asked our Sunday Paper community to share the life-changing wisdom they learned from their mothers. The responses poured in, forming a collection of deeply moving and heartwarming stories reflecting on the profound impact of motherhood and being mothered. While we couldn’t include them all, we packed as many as we could into this tribute to the women who made us. Happy Mother’s Day.
Laugh. My mom had the best laugh on earth and she laughed often and heartily. She had plenty of tragedy in her life, but her laugh never left her. I was lucky enough to go into teaching, a profession that allowed me to laugh every day, not only at home, but at work. It has helped me keep a perspective on life that’s more lighthearted than it might have been. ~Joan Cosper
My mom lived through the Great Depression and appreciated everything about life after that. She grew up on a farm and things were very hard for a large family. Her mother passed away when she was two and was raised by her dad and older siblings. Her stories of her life were honest about how hard it was, but no matter what she only spoke of love and fun in their family. She taught me that family love is what matters. ~Susan Jones
I learned how to be a good mom from my mom. She put us five kids first. She was there for us in all our events. She taught us how to have a good Catholic faith. She kept calm when there were problems. She was the best mom ever. Her main thing to us was to love one another and forgive. ~Mary Kinder
What I appreciate most about my relationship with my mom now—something I didn’t fully understand when I was younger—is just how hard she worked to create a happy, stable childhood for us after my dad passed away from colon cancer at only thirty-nine. We were just four, nine, and twelve, and somehow she managed to be present, loving, and intentional about making life feel as normal as possible despite such a profound loss. I see now the strength it took, especially when I think about that first Christmas—how she decided we would go to Winter Park to learn to snow ski, determined that we would make joyful memories together even after such difficult years. Our home remained happy and festive, and she always reminded us that “home is the happiest place you ever want to be.” That mindset shaped me deeply. I’ve carried it into my own motherhood, believing that children look to their moms to know everything is okay, and I’ve always wanted my kids to see me as happy and to feel that our home is a place of comfort, laughter, and good times. The advice from my mom that has stayed with me is simple but powerful: “Live life, make memories, travel, and enjoy.” We joke that she’s all about “La Di Das”—her way of describing those special, everyday moments spent on a patio with family and friends, soaking in life and making memories—and it’s a philosophy I hold close to my heart. ~Lori McCoy
My mother had two things that she frequently said to me when I was interested in either gossiping or hearing about gossip. The first was "Loose lips sink ships." And the second line she would say is "That is not my story to tell." Very good advice that I've tried to carry throughout my life. ~Kathleen Murray Putta
My mom was a teacher and nurse. My parents were divorced and I was the only child, so I lived with my mom, grandma and maternal uncle. I didn't see my dad until I was around seven years old. My mom was everything and everyone for me. She was very strict and disciplined, she would help me with my homework, and take me to Disney movies. She was a highly educated Iranian lady who always told me to study since knowledge is a treasure that nobody can take from you, money comes and goes. That is why I was an honor student, and later on I received a scholarship to go to England to pursue my postgraduate studies. I owe this to my mother. And she was a very kind and charitable lady who always helped the poor people and she said "When you have compassion on others, God will have compassion on you too." So, I love people, even at the age of seventy-seven, I am retired and low-income. I always help the homeless people, when it’s raining, I pray and cry for them. When I was healthy I served in the Lord's Lighthouse at our church, FPCH. So, I can say whatever that I have, I owe it to God first and to my dear mother second. She has passed away and I miss her a lot. May her soul rest in peace with God.
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers on Earth and in Heaven. ~Laya Niakan
Always remember to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you judge them. ~Patricia Ward
My Grandmother was my mom. Memories are precious. The best thing about her was her unconditional love. She listened to me, asked what my dreams were. My Grandmother grew up in the Mountains of North Carolina, at 13 her entire family moved to Gastonia, NC to work in cotton mills. Talked about being locked in the mill, how much fear she had about that. No choices, strict rules and the money she made was to support her family.
It gave me a true picture of how circumstances can affect your life. My Grandmother's choices were no education, work, marriage and work in cotton mills. Her gift to me was to make my path, and her faith in my ability to do so was a blessing to a young girl growing up in a Mill Village. Empowered me to be. ~Deb Knox
My appreciation for my mom has grown so much since the time I had children of my own. I realized the meaning of unconditional love and the worry of a mother. My mom was the most selfless person and as much of a hardship that she went through she was always there for us. She believed wholeheartedly to always take care of your children. The one thing that always sticks out to me is how my mom has always been so strong and always put others before herself. She always made people feel comfortable and she once said to treat people the same no matter their status in life. My mom has been gone for the past three years and I miss her so much! She truly was my best friend. ~Stacey Tokofsky
If you don’t love yourself first then no one else will love you. ~Gwendalina McClain Digby
I learned that my mother's love would never, ever disappear. Even when I disappointed her by some very important life decisions that I made, that she didn't fully understand, it didn't threaten her love for me. Since she left this physical realm eighteen years ago, I feel her love without any boundaries ever more. ~Jane Corinne
My mom taught each of her kids to speak up. She’d say ‘You’ll be in a group and there is pressure to do something that you disagree with. Speak up, suggest an alternative action perhaps, but speak up not for yourself but for the other person who doesn’t have the courage to do so. You won’t know who they are necessarily but they will come forward if you give them the chance.’ How many times in my childhood, personal and working life has this been the case? Too many to recall. It’s not always comfortable but it works. It’s tragic how many bad decisions are made when people are afraid to speak up. Leadership. Courage. Mom may not have been able to finish high school but she was often the smartest person in the room, whether a board meeting or a friend group. She showed leadership and inspired her four kids and others to be leaders. ~Patricia Torsney
Worrying doesn’t solve anything! Pray and have faith! At a young age, I was taught to say the rosary and I try to say it daily when I walk.
I was a teacher, as well as my mother. We always discussed that we must raise our children to be kind, respectful and productive members of society.
I miss her dearly... could use her sage advice daily. ~Ave Maria Bordenave Collins (photo)
Her best piece of advice was to always tell the truth. If you lie, you have to remember the lie. But if you always tell the truth, it’s the same no matter how many times someone asks the question. ~Martha Cusimano
What I appreciate most about my relationship with my mother now is something I could never fully understand when I was younger. My mother has passed away, but in many ways, my relationship with her feels even more all-encompassing now. I see her not only as my mother, but as a woman who carried enormous responsibility while raising her children alone. As the oldest daughter, I became her right hand. I helped care for my sisters while she worked to support our family. At the time, I didn’t fully understand how much she depended on me, but looking back now, I see that we were truly a team—a mother and daughter doing everything we could to hold our family together.
What I appreciate now is the wisdom behind the life she was teaching me while we were simply trying to survive it. She taught me responsibility without ever calling it a lesson. She taught me how to work hard, how to value family, and how important it is to show up for the people you love. She also taught me something I didn’t fully understand as a child: that a working mother is not an absent mother. Her working was never abandonment—it was love in action. She showed me my value through her sacrifices, her strength, and the way she believed in me.
More than anything, my mother was always my biggest supporter. She loved me unconditionally. Even though she was protective and strict, I never doubted how deeply she loved me because she didn’t just show it—she said it. Often. And she meant it.
That became the foundation of my own motherhood. I carried that same unconditional love into raising my children. I always made sure they knew they were loved, even when they made mistakes or disappointed me. I tried to turn difficult moments into lessons instead of shame. My mother gave me the blueprint, and I carried it into a more modern understanding of motherhood, but the heart of it remained the same: love your children deeply, tell them often, and let them know they are valued no matter what.
One of the most meaningful things my mother ever said to me was that she “may not have much to give, but she was giving me all she had.” As a young girl, I appreciated those words, but I did not truly understand them until after she passed away. Looking back now, I realize she gave me everything she possibly could—and more. She gave me strength, security, guidance, love, and the feeling that I mattered. She thought she had little to offer, but she gave me the world simply by being my mother.
Another piece of advice that has stayed with me forever came near the end of her life, before Alzheimer’s slowly took more and more of her away from us. She looked at me and said, “Time waits on no one.” Those words settled deep inside me. At the time, I didn’t realize how profound they would become, but they changed the way I live. I no longer let time slip by unnoticed. I try to make life matter. I pay attention to moments now. I understand how precious people are while we still have them. That may be one of the greatest gifts my mother ever gave me. ~Laurie Souza
I was thirty when my mom, Ginny Guild died of pancreatic cancer, I treasure all the years I had with her. I've always wondered who she would be today. She taught me that beauty and strength come from within even though she was a Breck Girl before I was born and never left the house without being dressed perfectly with her hair done. Mom showed me how to treasure being one of three sisters. She told me the best thing I could give my children was a good marriage—marriage takes time and attention. Mom also taught me to keep learning, through travel, experiences, and reading both nonfiction and fiction. Even over thirty years after she died, I still talk to her, think to call her and feel her love. ~Mindy Paglierani
I lost my mom when she was just fifty-eight years old and I miss her every day. She always tried to find the good in everyone and I try so hard to do the same, even when sometimes it’s so hard! The best compliment I can ever receive is when those who knew her tell me I remind them of her.
I remember the pure joy she had with my kids in the short time she had with them. My oldest son was only four when she passed and my daughter was just short of her first birthday. She never saw my youngest but I see her kind heart in him. As a grandmother now myself, I want to give them all of what I saw my mom give mine and all of what I know they missed. ~Joanne Lewis
My mom’s favorite saying was “It's nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.” Now, with her gone for several years, I appreciate more than ever how those words have shaped my character, my work and my focus as a mother. When our daughter brought her report card home all through her school years, we asked “Were you kind?” When she graduated from high school, her teachers all gave her the same attribute—they described her as “kind.” I would like to think her grandmother's words were passed on.
In my work I write, coach, teach, and speak about how to communicate with compassion. I just co-authored a book about peace, The Peace Guidebook, that offers practical ways for people to be kind. My mom is with me every day and I am grateful for that beautiful lesson! ~Dr. Katie Eastman
When I was expecting our first child at age thirty I was very busy with my career and setting up a new home. My mom told me she wished she had spent more time on the floor playing with me and my siblings and less time fussing about the house and other things that needed to be done. That stuck! ~Christi Bond
The piece of advice that has stuck with me throughout my life, are my mother’s words often spoken saying “most people are good people.” I think this is particularly poignant and impactful knowing that my mom was born in 1924 in Berlin, to a Jewish mother and father. She and her family lived through the Holocaust, by moving first to Holland and then to Canada, and obviously her life was shaped by this horrific time. In addition to her words, as a child I recall her gifting the mailman and garbage men at Christmas time and providing them cold drinks on hot days. I’ve lived my life always recalling those words and have found them to be true. This is one of the reasons I love Maria’s Sunday essay, is that I believe her worldview has the same basis—Most people are good people. ~Anita Lischak
My mother walked the beautiful balance of having my respect as an authority figure and also being my closest friend. The wisdom she shared on many topics was invaluable. As a parent she would often say, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” which led her to spend the time she wasn’t working taking my brother and me fishing, swimming, on long walks or taking me and my friends to our first concert or to see our high school football game several hours away. I believe that influenced me as a parent—spending quality time enjoying my children, doing things they enjoy, and getting to know and appreciate their friendships.
I remember being upset with someone and ranting to my mom and her saying calmly, “have you put yourself in their shoes?” That phrase changed my perspective as a teenager and served me well in many situations. After starting our company, I used that as our mission statement and everyone had a shoe photo to remind them of this lesson. ~Jane Allen
Before I was eighteen years old, my father’s employment had required us to move eleven times. My mother made each new location feel like home. As children, we heard no complaints.
When I became the wife of an Army officer, I did my best to emulate my mother and make each of our sixteen homes in thirty-one years feel like home.
The secret to success is wherever love lives, it feels like home. ~Karen Justice
EVERYTHING IS APPRECIATED! As a teen going through puberty and a really bad boyfriend, my mom was patient. She made her feelings known but didn’t harp on them. That action allowed “me” to conclude this guy was bad business.
Dellee Bussey Williams was THE KINDEST woman that I knew. The one piece of advice my mom gave to my husband and I was “Never stop speaking with your children; no matter how angry both sides are… DON’T STOP TALKING! They DO hear you but as children, no matter the age, they will “try” their parent(s)." ~Loren E Brereton
What I appreciate about my relationship with my mom is that even though she died when I was twelve, I still feel her, still learn from her through memories, still feel her love and her hugs, still hear her laugh. I am now sixty-five years old. I don’t remember a lot of words that she said or specific advice, but I definitely learned from her examples. I felt fiercely loved. I remember her attending a prayer group which wasn’t a real popular thing at the time, at least not in our church. As I got older, that memory and other memories of her practicing her faith encouraged me as I was questioning my own faith. Because of her example of seeking more, I grew in my faith in ways I never imagined. That is just one of many examples she set.
My dad died of cancer when I was fifteen. I was the fifth child out of six. Our two oldest siblings became our guardians. Even though mom and dad parented us for such a short time, they somehow managed to raise six kind, loving, thoughtful, fun people who cherish their family. And now I see so much of that in all of their grandchildren and great grandchildren, so the lessons and the love continue. ~Shelly Christianson
Follow your dreams. Always remember who you are. Share that. And do your good in the world. Serve God through your talents and always with love and with kindness.
After my son died eleven years ago, my mom was the one that had my back 24/7. She NEVER let me fall into the anguish and hopelessness that could take me out. Once when I fell so deep in grief and called her in my agony and tears she said “Jeralyn do not lose sight of your purpose! Be hopeful! And If you are thinking of taking your life, I’ll kill you first!” She sobered me up at that moment—We laughed so hard. At 5 ft 2.5” she was a huge presence in my life until she passed last August. This is my first Mother’s Day without her, and she was strong! And she loved Maria and supported her causes! My mother is so missed. ~Jeralyn Glass
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