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At 64, John (a pseudonym) spends three days a week at an elementary school in Richfield, Minnesota, where he serves as a reading tutor. He works one-on-one with kindergarten through third-grade students who need extra help reaching grade-level proficiency. When summer comes, he trades reading lessons for coaching high school baseball.

John went into both roles expecting to give something to the young people he worked with—his time, experience, and encouragement. What he didn’t anticipate was how much they would give him in return.

“I think I get more out of it than the kids do,” he says. 

It turns out John has tapped into something that researchers and organizations working across generations see again and again: When older and younger people become meaningfully involved in one another's lives, everybody benefits. Now, new research suggests these relationships may even be linked to living longer.

You don’t need to be a grandparent

Some of us have younger people woven naturally into our lives through children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or family friends. But that’s hardly universal. Families increasingly live far apart, and many older adults don’t have children or grandchildren at all.

The good news is that intergenerational connection doesn’t have to come through family—and it’s never too late to build it.

John found that connection through volunteering with Reading Corps, an AmeriCorps program, and American Legion Baseball. Others find it through AmeriCorps Seniors’ Foster Grandparent Program, where adults 55 and older support and mentor children, often in schools. But there are nearly endless ways to build these relationships—from tutoring or coaching to volunteering at a school, library, faith community, or youth organization.

However the connection happens, older adults often discover they receive something powerful in return: connection, purpose, and the experience of knowing they matter to someone else.

We may have the equation backward

Laura Carstensen, PhD, founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, has spent decades studying aging and the role relationships play in well-being.

Research has long linked strong social ties with better health and longevity. New research from Carstensen and researcher Claire Growney goes a step further, finding that older adults who interact with children—both grandchildren and children they aren’t related to—live longer than those who don’t, even after accounting for demographic differences and health.

But longevity is only one side of the story. We often assume younger people are the ones bringing vitality to intergenerational relationships, while older people are the beneficiaries. Carstensen says we may have it backward.

What older adults bring—emotional stability, perspective, and the steady presence of a caring adult—can be enormously valuable to younger people.

“Sometimes people think of old people as being the ones who need care, and often, it’s just the opposite,” she says.

“Older people are in better emotional health than any other age group,” she adds, and that emotional stability can have a grounding effect on the younger people in their lives.

The gift of more generations

“I think the most important—or the most surprising—thing to people when they think about intergenerational relationships is just how unique they are to this particular historical era,” Carstensen says.

Today, there are roughly the same number of five-year-olds and 65-year-olds in the U.S. That’s an extraordinary shift from the early 20th century, Carstensen says, when average life expectancy was just 47 and “only four percent of people in the U.S. were over 65.” 

In other words, we now have generations living alongside one another in numbers that would have been unimaginable for most of human history—and an unprecedented opportunity to bring them together.

The question is what we do with that gift of time.

Being needed matters

One of the most powerful ingredients in these relationships may be something surprisingly simple: knowing someone needs you.

“Feeling like somebody needs you is actually an incredibly important predictor of physical health and length of life,” Carstensen says. Put more simply, she says, it matters to know there is “a soul on the planet who needs you.”

That's especially relevant after retirement, when the freedom we've spent decades anticipating can sometimes come with an unexpected loss of structure and purpose. Intergenerational relationships can help fill that gap.

Mark Giese, an area supervisor with Catholic Charities of Central Minnesota’s Foster Grandparent Program, sees it firsthand. Part of AmeriCorps Seniors, the program places adults 55 and older with children who need additional support, often in classrooms. For eligible lower-income volunteers, stipends and expense reimbursement help make that service financially accessible.

Volunteers tell Giese that the work gives them a reason to get out of the house: “You're walking, you're interacting, you're getting dressed, you leave the house with purpose.”

But purpose is only part of what keeps volunteers coming back. Pat Scharf, who has spent more than two decades with Catholic Charities’ Foster Grandparent Program, both as an area supervisor and a Foster Grandparent herself, points to another powerful ingredient: joy.

“That’s a key word, that joy word,” Scharf says. Volunteers tell her about “how they laugh and how these kids make them laugh.”

And that connection often expands beyond the children themselves. Volunteers build relationships with teachers, staff, and other members of the community—and Scharf says they frequently come away believing they receive more than they give.

Connection keeps us engaged

For John, his commitment to younger people as a reading tutor and baseball coach has become motivation to care for himself.

“I’m going to try to be healthy and keep up with them,” he says.

He exercises regularly and pays attention to his health in part because there are children and teenagers he wants to keep showing up for.

The relationships exercise his mind, too. Younger people expose him to new ideas, new language, and entirely different ways of seeing the world. 

“Learning something new is what keeps you young,” he says. Volunteering with young people “keeps me thinking young, simple stuff like staying current with the slang, what’s happening today, what kids do today,” he adds.

Scharf and Giese see that curiosity among their Foster Grandparents, too. And Giese, now in his 50s, says watching them has changed his own vision of retirement. Rather than imagining retirement purely as leisure, he now pictures building service like this into his own life.

The benefits flow in both directions

Two years ago, John tutored first graders who were reading below grade level. By last fall, three of his former students had been placed in the school’s gifted program.

“You basically took a kid that wasn't reading at grade level, and now they are beyond proficient, in the top part of their class,” he says. “Think of it!”

For John, moments like that are about more than improving a reading score. They hold the possibility of “changing the arc of somebody’s life.”

Foster Grandparents see that impact, too. They tutor reading and math, encourage children who are struggling, and offer the kind of reliable adult presence that can be difficult to quantify. Giese and Scharf say that teachers frequently report academic improvement among students assigned to work with the volunteers.

And sometimes the impact reveals itself years later.

Scharf remembers meeting a young nurse who, when she learned about Scharf’s work, immediately thought back to the Foster Grandparent who had been part of her own childhood. “Grandma Helen!” she exclaimed, her delight making clear how much the relationship still meant to her years later.

Other volunteers receive Christmas cards, graduation invitations, and greetings from former students long after the children have left their classrooms.

The older adult isn't simply the giver and the child the receiver. Both are learning. Both are connecting. Both get the experience of mattering to someone else.

It’s never too late to start

The takeaway is simple: There are countless ways to bring more intergenerational connection into your life. Schools, libraries, mentoring organizations, sports teams, faith communities, and AmeriCorps programs all offer opportunities to connect with and support younger generations.

And you already have the most important thing to offer. “The resources children need are caring adults more than anything else,” Carstensen says.

John is proof that you don't need special expertise to make a difference.

“My time as a parent of young kids didn’t qualify me to be a reading tutor,” he says. “What qualified me is wanting to give to my community.”

He has seen how much a little attention and encouragement can unlock. Even children facing significant disadvantages, he says, often just need “a little bit of a spark.” Once they get it, the growth can be “unbelievable.”

He's watched struggling readers become proficient students and baseball players become teammates and young men. And somewhere along the way, the 64-year-old mentor changed, too.

“I feel younger,” John says. “I feel connected to my community.”

Maybe that's the real promise of connecting across generations. We don't simply help one another grow older or grow up. We help one another keep growing.

Coming Tuesday in Be Healthy: Connecting across generations also means learning from one another—and sometimes navigating very different ideas about raising children. In our companion story, “Your Kids Are Raising Their Kids Differently. Here’s Why,” pediatric experts explain what’s changed, what really matters, and what grandparents can stop worrying about.

Want to Learn More—or Get Involved?

Looking for ways to bring more intergenerational connection into your life? Start here:

• Find a Volunteer Opportunity Near You — Search AmeriCorps Seniors opportunities in your community.
• Connecting “Olders and Youngers” — The Stanford Center on Longevity explores the value of bringing younger and older generations together.
• The Legacy Project — Find ideas and resources for building meaningful relationships across generations.
• She’s 28. He’s 71. Here’s How They Became Roommates—and Close Friends — A Washington Post story showing how an unexpected friendship across generations can take shape.

We’d love to hear from you: Is there someone from another generation who has made a meaningful difference in your life? Or are you hoping to build more intergenerational connection but aren’t sure where to begin? Share your story—or what you’re looking for—in the comments below.